He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
