Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
