I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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