She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
