i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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