Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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