some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
