She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize