There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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