Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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