Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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