she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
