Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
