just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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