is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
