Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
