Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
