it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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