its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize