I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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