i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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