You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
