if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
