I am spending my child support on dildos
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
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I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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