I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize