So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
