Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
where does the pee come out of this thing
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
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I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
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I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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