my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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