So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
