Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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