I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
