drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
