bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
