drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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