I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
