no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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