I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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