Im at strip club and am horny
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize