Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
