Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
