do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
