so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Enjoy the penises
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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