Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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