I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
