If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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