Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
