do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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