we have officially lost it.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
