I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
