there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
