i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
as a side note pls kill me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
