is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize