I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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