I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
