i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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