I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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