have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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