My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Is it because I queefed?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
