dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
