this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
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I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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