she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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