i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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