I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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