Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize